Wellnesscoach4balance

Check either “yes, often” “Sometimes,” or “Not really” for each question:


1- Are you able to take a deep breath and truly feel the breath down in the pit of your stomach?
3-Breathe out. Do you have a sensation that you are suspended without the need for another breath?
4-So you have the feeling that a part of you is watching yourself even when you are doing simple things like walking in the street or writing a report for work?
5-Do you get so involved in doing something (driving, gardening, cooking) that hours have gone by and you didn’t even notice that time passed?
6-Is there ever a “little voice
in your head or sensations in your body that tell you what to do even when you are not totally sure where it comes from?
7-Do you “sense” your loved one/an imagined loved one is beside you or in front of you even if he or she is not really there?
8-Breathe out. Can you imagine sending this breath into your loved one?
9-Do you merge with your lover-in talking or making love-so that you feel like one person?
10-Do you sense that guides, spirits, or angels are helping you ?


If you answered “Yes, often” to five or more questions, you already have the experience of a spiritually healthy love. To at least three you have the right stuff to be able to learn what a deep, spiritually healthy relationship can be. To fewer than two practice doing what the questions suggests. No matter what the score all these experiences can be developed, close your eyes and imagine...

COACHING DIFFERS FROM THERAPY

Coaching is solution-based and solves problems of the present -- it enriches your life!

Coaching uses powerful techniques (tools, support, and structure) to clarify your goals,

values, purpose, and vision and to keep you focused on your priorities. It will create prosperity,

balance, and fulfillment in your life. Through coaching, you

can achieve your goals and dreams by breaking them down into smaller more manageable pieces.

Each week, you move closer to what you really want.

Talking with a friend may be helpful, but coaching offers undistracted listening that is non-judgmental,

trusting, honest, and exceptionally objective. The questions posed challenge the spoken words and

delve into the real meaning of what is being heard. Your Coach is your resource person with a large tool kit

to assist you in developing and pursuing your vision so that you achieve positive, permanent results.

Therapy focuses on analysis and interpretation; in Coaching, the emphasis is on experiencing,

the shifting of perspective and position. Rather than focusing on what has happened,

the emphasis is on what is possible.


BIO

Suzie coaches clients to be clear about what they value, gain the respect and allegiance

of others and make

compelling choices for themselves and their organizations.


Suzie is a graduate of Rhodes College and is a certified Life Coach and

Life Skills Instructor with a Wellness Counselor Certification.

With a background in teaching, her approach to healing is based on the identification and

healthy expression of feelings, as well as effective interpersonal communication.



She asks powerful questions to open up new possibilities such as:

“Who is writing your rule book? Where do your beliefs come from?”

Wellness is the relationship of integrating the body, mind and spirit

by loving ones whole self.



Suzie is competent in areas which include Counseling, Genograms,

Schema Focused Cognitive Therapy, Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT),

Eye Movement Desensitization & Reprocessing (EMDR) and Reiki level 2.

Her background includes 8 years in education and non-profit leadership roles.

She works with people volunteering with American Red Cross,

Saint John Ambulance and also Paddle For Kids raising much need money for

The Vancouver Children's Hospital is rewarding.



She has a strong desire and ability in assisting others to feel safe and cared for.

Suzie uses her intuitive skills and goal setting techniques

to assist her clients to achieve a desired lifestyle.

This will create the highest potential for balance and success and a feeling of well-being.



FREE 30 min. TRIAL SESSION!

If You Are Ready To Make A Change In Your Life, Try A Free Coaching Session!

If you can answer YES to any of the following questions, you could benefit from working with a personal coach:

Does your life feel unbalanced and/or stressful?
Are you already successful, and yet feel that there should be more to life?
Would you like to make better decisions and become aware of more choices?
Do you want to improve your financial situation?
Are you in the midst of a life transition?
Are you unsure of how to go about making changes and feel ready to do it?
A free trial is the best way to introduce you to life coaching and to see how coaching can benefit you. The call is simply an opportunity for you to have the experience of being coached, and for us to get an idea of how we interact together. You will have an opportunity to decide how you feel about working with me, and I will find out more about your situation and whether this is an area in which I believe I can help you. Please call (360) 319-1406 for a free 30-minute trial session, or e-mail me at balanceguide@yahoo.com I look forward to speaking with you and finding out what your vision is, and how we can work together to make your vision a reality!

The first coaching session is always complementary and lasts 30 minutes. I find that this allows you to try before you buy with zero
obligation and gives both of us confidence that hiring me as your wellness coach is the best decision for you.

The fees are $200/month. This includes three 45-min sessions and unlimited e-mail support and/or 10 min. power sessions on the phone.

Pay as you go session at $50/ per half hour or $75/ per hour. **Discounts available for low income clients.**


balanceguide@yahoo.com questions.

· My life is just okay; - something isn't right with this picture!

Extreme self-care can lead to fulfillment in your life and eliminating that 'missing' feeling. Wouldn't excite be better than 'okay'? When and why did you start cheating yourself?

· Can't we add more hours to the day?

Notice how often you actually plan for fun or how often you plan busy work.

· I say 'yes' when you really mean 'NO'?

Living with regrets, resentment, and guilt is NOT fun! Learn how to say 'no' gracefully and still feel okay about it.

· I feel lonely, would like more friends, and perhaps find a relationship.

What has you tolerating your own excuses for saying no to invitations?

· My current relationship is driving me crazy

It's time to look at your standards, requirements, needs, and values.

· I'm overworked and need to delegate but no one can do it as well as I.

Perhaps it's time to learn how to let go of ideas about what I "can or can't" do.

· I love my work, but it's everything else that's bad - my boss, my co-workers, my office, the food at lunch.
If you are willing to tolerate their behavior and just continue to complain, things will never change.

· My business is going well, but I feel as though I'm drowning. I need a coach who is organized and knows how to help me feel “that I am on top of things”.

Learning how to prioritize your workload, delegate, and basic organizational skills would be helpful.
What priorities and choices got you into this feeling of 'falling behind'?

· I'm "losing it." What does in control feel like?

What do you see when you observe your life - as if it were someone else's?



Definition of Wellness?
A definition of wellness is unique for everyone. Who has the best answer? I really don't know!

I believe that wellness is the art of learning to love your whole-self. That’s a good definition of wellness right there!

Wellness is the right and privilege of everyone. Wellness is a choice, your choice to move towards optimal health.

Here are 12 dimensions of wellness including self-responsibility and love, breathing, sensing, eating, moving, feeling, thinking, playing and working, communicating, intimacy, finding meaning, and transcending.

You may start or continue your wellness journey by taking a Wellness Inventory. It is a great tool for anyone wishing to enjoy better health and achieve happiness. It might help you create the definition of wellness that fits your needs.

When you take charge of your life, live in the process and channel life energy everyone is impacted. The world is impacted. It is all about choices, your choices, not mine.

You can get a better definition of wellness as you read about the twelve dimensions of wellness, summarized below.

Self-Responsibility and Love

This is the foundation for health and wellness
“You” are responsible for your own health and wellness, not the doctor or any other practitioner
The journey towards higher levels of wellness involves love and compassion, not guilt or blame. Being aware how they are wired in your thinking will set the stage for change
Breathing

Conscious breathing is healing
Learn to use your breath for balance, as remedy for stress, to heal your body, to enjoy the moment and ultimately as a tool to achieve inner peace.
Sadness, anger and fear restricts our breathing
Sensing

It is through our senses that we enjoy the world
Seeing, touching, smelling, hearing and tasting are how we come to appreciate everything around us
Approach the simple pleasures of life without indulging
Eating

Dietary confusion, emotional eating, processed/convenience and comfort foods, make this wellness dimension one of the most challenging for us
Most illnesses can be traced back to the unbalance in this dimension
You are unique, learn to listen to your own needs
Seek the assistance of a wellness and food coach to support you
Moving

Practice some form of mind-body-spirit discipline that integrates breathing, movement, and body awareness
Walking is inexpensive and easy and studies have shown that walking can reduce risk of stroke, heart disease and raise the level of good cholesterol
Feeling

Have a few close friends
Say “no” without feeling guilty by putting yourself first
Be open to experiencing and feeling joy
Thinking

Meditation – emptying the mind from chatter
Practice Affirmations (positive statements that acknowledge life. They reinforce the power of positive thinking)
Learn to control stress
Playing and Working

Be creative – Laugh often
Keep alive your childhood games when possible --- Keep a child like attitude
Keep work attitude’s positive
Communicating

Make sure you are heard and understood
Be a good listener and only give your opinion or help when wanted
Keep a positive self-talk --- Everything starts with me
Intimacy

Relationships actually form our brains
Sexual, sensual or platonic relationships have lots of healthy benefits
Finding Meaning

Know your values and priorities
Express gratitude
Be kind to others and to yourself
Accept your mortality
Transcending

Practice a spiritual discipline by allowing a higher power to be within you
Do some form of daily prayer and/or meditation
Allow others the freedom to believe what they believe without pressuring them to accept your beliefs
Your health or illness is influenced by your state of mind, your emotions, and your spirit. A definition of wellness therefore can be as unique as you are.



WRITE YOUR HURTS IN THE SAND, CARVE YOUR BENEFITS IN STONE: "When someone hurts us we should write it down in sand where winds of forgiveness can erase it away. But, when someone does something good for us, engrave it in stone where no wind can ever erase it.”


Emotional Mindfulness … Emotions Just Are
Close Your Eyes
Location, Size, Shape and Color
What Does It Say?
What Do You Want To Do?
What Past Experience Does It Remind You Of?
Name Your Feelings
Feelings Journal
_____________________________
To change your life; start immediately; do it flamboyantly; no exceptions.
__William James__
American Psychologist and Philosopher
Close your eyes, take several slow, deep breaths, and focus on the experience that causes the ambiguous feeling.
• Is the overall sensation positive or negative?
• Are you drawn toward the situation or repelled?
Location, size, shape, and color? Once you have decided whether the feeling is good or bad, try to give it a location in your body.

Close your eyes again, focus on your breathing, and relax. Scan your body while feeling the feeling.

Does it seem to reside in your chest, your stomach, your hands, your neck?
Now concentrate on that area most closely associated with the feeling. How much space does the feeling take up?

Is it large or small?
As you begin to get an idea of the size, try to sense a shape. In your mind’s eyes, trace the feeling’s all-around shape.

Is it a regular shape, like a ball or a cone? Or irregular?
What color comes to mind as you contemplate your feeling? Is it a warm red or orange? A cool blue or green
Do not evaluate or judge your feeling or your performance in this exercise. Just observe whatever comes up for you when you try to identify location, size, shape, and color

What does it say? Imagine that your feeling can talk by itself. What does it say? Let words come spontaneously, without forcing or judging them.

You may hear meaningful clues to the nature of your feeling such as the words—loss, gone, unfair, sad, bad, and so on.

Or you may hear only silence, or a phrase whose meaning eludes you.


What do you want to do?

When you feel this feeling, what action are you drawn to? What do you see yourself doing—running, hugging, hitting, hiding, crying, shaking, screaming? Imagine that you are performing the action. This is just fantasy, so you do not have to restrain your actions the way you might in real life. Let your imagination go.
The action urged by your feeling is a good clue to the nature of the feeling. If you want to hug or comfort someone, you may be feeling sympathy, remorse, love, or desire. If you want to hit or shake someone, you are probably feeling anger or frustration. If you want to cry, hide or turn away, you may be feeling sadness, depression, or anxiety.


What past experience does it remind you of?

Have you had this same feeling before? Does your mind drift to the past and focus on a time when you felt something similar. Who were you with? What was happening? Were you able to identify the feeling?

How did you express or fail to express this feeling in the past? Sometimes it is easier to identify feelings by looking for repeated pattern in your life.


Name your feelings.

By now you should be able to give your feeling a name. Most feelings are combinations of several component feelings.
Feeling words: accepted, rejected, abandoned, left out, criticized, lectured to, preached to, judged discriminated, against, mocked appreciated, unappreciated, supported, unsupported, uncomfortable, comfortable, optimistic, pessimistic, hopeless, discouraged, encouraged, afraid, respected, disrespected, motivated, unmotivated free, controlled, obligated, burdened, needy, in control, out of control, validated, invalidated, competent, incompetent, jealous, sad, lonely, ignored, important, unimportant, proud, confident, worthy, deserving, unworthy, undeserving, excited, fulfilled, rewarded, loved.


Feelings journal.

For the next week, make a note (date, situation, feeling) each time you interact with someone or think about someone and become aware of a particular feeling. This practice will train you in noticing and clarifying your feelings from moment to moment.




We should not let our fears hold us back from pursuing our hopes.
—John F. Kennedy

Requests, the Fourth Component of
Compassionate Communication


Over the past few weeks, we have looked at the first three components of Compassionate Communication: observations, feelings, and needs. The fourth component is making a request. This component is critical because it clarifies for you and the people in your life what it would take to meet your need. Imagine that you said to your teenage daughter, “Honey, it seems like I haven’t seen you very much the last couple of weeks and I’m sad about that because I miss you and I’d like to spend more time with you.” If you don’t make a request, your daughter has to guess what you want. She may guess that you want to spend lots of time with her, when what you really want is a couple of hours one night this week. Or, she may assume that you are criticizing her for valuing her friends more than you. Or, she may think that no matter how much time she spends with you, it will never be enough for you. Making a request can bring clarity and relief to a conversation and greatly lessen any tension in the situation. Your request could sound like this: “Honey, it seems that I haven’t seen you very much the last couple of weeks and I’m sad about that because I miss you and I’d like to spend more time with you. Would you be willing to schedule a couple of hours that we can spend together some evening this week? We could brainstorm what we’d both enjoy doing.” In reality, your daughter might still resist your request. However, the opportunity for mutual satisfaction is much greater when you are clear about what you want.
NVC Reflection
Make a conscious choice to return to your innate nature of living compassionately today.



WHY HAVE FORGIVENESS IN YOUR LIFE?



You can never be free of bitterness as long as you continue to think in an unforgiving way. How can you be happy in this moment if you hang on to angry and resentful thoughts? Thinking bitterly can’t create joy. No matter how you feel justified at what “they” did, if you insist on holding onto the past you will never be free. Forgiving yourself and others will release you from the prison of the past.



When you don’t flow freely with life in the present moment, it usually means that you’re holing onto a past moment. It could be regret, sadness, hurt, fear, guilt, blame, anger, resentment, or sometimes even a desire for revenge. Each of these states of mind comes from a space of no forgiveness, a refusal to let go and come to the present moment.



When you blame another you give your own power away by you’re placing the responsibility for your feelings on someone else. People in your life may behave in ways that trigger uncomfortable responses in you. They didn’t get into your mind and create the buttons that have been pushed. Taking responsibility for your own feelings and reactions is mastering your “ability to respond.” You learn to consciously choose rather than simply react.



Forgiveness is a tricky and confusing concept for some people but recognize that there’s a difference between forgiveness and acceptance. Forgiving someone doesn’t mean condoning there behaviour! The reality of true forgiveness lies in setting yourself free from pain. It is simply and acts of releasing yourself from the negative energy that you’ve chosen to hole on to.



Forgiveness doesn’t mean allowing the painful behaviours of actions of another to continue in your life. It may mean letting go: you forgive them then let them go. Taking a stand and setting healthy boundaries is often the most loving thing you can do for yourself and others as well.



No matter what you reasons are for bitter, unforgiving feelings, you can go beyond them. You have a choice to choose to stay stuck and resentful, or do yourself a favour by willingly forgiving what happened in the past. Moving on will create a joyous, fulfilling life. You have the to make life anything you want.
Summary of Life
GREAT TRUTHS THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED:

1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptise cats.
2) When your Mum is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.
3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person.
4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
5) You can't trust dogs to watch your food.
6) Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
7) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.
8) You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
9) Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
10) The best place to be when you're sad is Grandpa's lap.

GREAT TRUTHS THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED:

1) Raising teenagers is like nailing jelly to a tree.
2) Wrinkles don't hurt.
3) Families are like fudge...mostly sweet, with a few nuts.
4) Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.
5) Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside.
6) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fibre, not the toy.

GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD

1) Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
2) Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.
3) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're down there.
4) You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you
once got from a roller coaster.
5) It's frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.
6) Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.
7) Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.

THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE:

1) You believe in Santa Claus.
2) You don't believe in Santa Claus.
3) You are Santa Claus.
4) You look like Santa Claus.

SUCCESS:

At age 4 success is . . . not piddling in your pants.
At age 12 success is . . . having friends.
At age 17 success is . . having a drivers licence.
At age 35 success is . . having money.
At age 50 success is . . . having money.
At age 70 success is . .. . having a drivers licence.
At age 75 success is . . having friends.
At age 80 success is . . not piddling in your pants.

Have a wonderful day with many *smiles*


Take the time to live!!!

Life is too short. Dance naked




One way to love yourself:



How to feel right now? Do you feel good? Do you feel bad? What are your current emotions? What is your gut feeling? Would you like to feel better? Then reach for the feeling of thought. If you feel bad in any way – sad, grumpy, bitter, resentful, angry, fearful, guilty, depressed, jealous, critical, and so on – then you’ve temporarily lost your connection to the flow of good experiences that the Universe has waiting for you. Don’t waste your thoughts on blame. No person, place, or thing has any control over your feelings because they don’t think in your mind.



This is also why you really have no control over others – you see, you can’t control their thoughts. No one can control another unless that person gives permission. So you want to be aware of this powerful mind you have. You can take total control of. What you choose to think in what you’ll get in life. I’ve chosen to think thoughts of joy and appreciation, and you can, too.



What kinds of thoughts make you feel good? Thoughts of love, appreciation, gratitude, joyful childhood experiences? Thoughts in which you rejoice that you’re alive and bliss you body with love? Do you truly enjoy this present moment and get excited about tomorrow? Thinking these kinds of thoughts is an act of loving yourself, and loving yourself creates miracles in your life.



Are thought are miracles!


Five Things Couples Should Do Every Day

Some couples look just as happy now as they did when they first met - be it five weeks ago, or five years ago. What's the secret to a long lasting and happy romance?

For most couples, whether married or in a long-term relationship, it can be a difficult transition once the “honeymoon” stage is over. The initial lust and butterflies in the stomach you once felt may have given way to a more laid-back, comfortable feeling with your significant other. It is normal for long-standing relationships to cool down after a while and this is when the real relationship building begins.

A good partnership is like tending to a pet - either you feed and nurture it, or bad things will happen. The small things you do become important. Daily habits help to forge strong relationships and marriages. It can be as simple as remembering to tell your partner “I love you,” everyday.

If you are really serious about making your relationship work, there are several little rituals that you can incorporate into your daily life.



1. Talk To Each Other

Most relationship experts would agree that talking is the most important elements of a healthy partnership. Happy couples typically say their relationship works better when they can sit down one-on-one, share their feelings and work out their frustrations. Topics of discussion can extend past your relationship. Talk about work, how your day is going, or something funny that happened to you.

Many couples may complain that it is hard to find time in their busy day to have a daily couple’s pow-wow. Well, it doesn’t have to be an hour-long psych session each day. You simply have to set aside a few minutes for your special someone. For example, do a “weather” check during the day. Call your partner at home or at work to see how his/her day is going. By doing this, you will be more in sync when you reconnect after work.

If you have a pet dog, how about walking it together every night? The quiet time and fresh air can be your chance to focus on each other. If you have missed each other during the day, be sure to catch up at night right before going to bed. It is in this relaxed atmosphere that you can unwind and tell your partner about your busy day.

When you live together, you may automatically think you know everything about your lover. In reality though, it is very easy for life to get in the way if you don’t take the time to connect with each other.



2. Flirt

Flirting isn’t just for teenagers and couples on their first date. Part of a healthy sexual relationship involves flirting with each other everyday. And it doesn’t just have to be a form of foreplay. Even on the nights when you are just too doggone tired to be intimate in bed, flirting can be a fun way to keep the zest in your relationship.

Don’t be embarrassed about flirting in public either. Show off the strength of your relationship with a little PDA. Walk hand in hand and try to steal a quick hug or kiss whenever you can. Most importantly, don’t forget to say “I love you,” as many times as you can throughout the day.



3. Be Silly Together

Life is serious enough. Sometimes you just need to do something really silly. And if you can’t do it with your significant other, who can you be silly with? When you find the time, try reliving your childhood by visiting an amusement park. Go on all the scary rides and eat all the sweets you can until your stomach can take no more.

For a daily ritual that you and your partner can share at home, try playing a game of Twister. The contorted positions you will find yourselves in will have you laughing in no time. Or kick back and watch a funny TV show that both of you enjoy. Whatever you do, the important thing is to laugh and have fun together.

4. Declare Your Independence

Remember that healthy relationships are made up of two independent people who have their own personalities and interests. It’s not good for the relationship to be constantly joined at the hip. So also make a daily habit of getting away from each other. Peruse your own hobbies and interests.

Doing things separately gives you a chance to fill in the blanks that your partner may not be able to fill for you. For example, if one of you likes sports and the other likes the arts, use your alone time to go to the gym or enroll in a painting class. At the end of your day, you will find that you have more to talk about. It will help bring freshness to the relationship, as you both continue to grow as people.

5. Cultivate Common Interests

Along with developing your personal interests, apart from one another, it is also essential to find something you can do together. The emphasis is on finding an activity can both enjoy. Although your definition of fun may be going shopping, he may not enjoy being dragged along.

If common interests are not present, happy couples develop them. Try working out at the gym together. Or take some classes together until you find something you both like. Maybe you'll both fall in love with cooking and connect each night by preparing dinner together.



It's the little things

Although these daily habits are all very simple things, they are the things that can develop a lasting, concrete relationship. These small gestures build upon the positive energy between a couple. Then, when the relationship is under stress, you’ll have the energy you need to get through it.ng and happy romance?

For most couples, whether married or in a long-term relationship, it can be a difficult transition once the “honeymoon” stage is over. The initial lust and butterflies in the stomach you once felt may have given way to a more laid-back, comfortable feeling with your significant other. It is normal for long-standing relationships to cool down after a while and this is when the real relationship building begins.

A good partnership is like tending to a pet - either you feed and nurture it, or bad things will happen. The small things you do become important. Daily habits help to forge strong relationships and marriages. It can be as simple as remembering to tell your partner “I love you,” everyday.

If you are really serious about making your relationship work, there are several little rituals that you can incorporate into your daily life.



1. Talk To Each Other

Most relationship experts would agree that talking is the most important elements of a healthy partnership. Happy couples typically say their relationship works better when they can sit down one-on-one, share their feelings and work out their frustrations. Topics of discussion can extend past your relationship. Talk about work, how your day is going, or something funny that happened to you.

Many couples may complain that it is hard to find time in their busy day to have a daily couple’s pow-wow. Well, it doesn’t have to be an hour-long psych session each day. You simply have to set aside a few minutes for your special someone. For example, do a “weather” check during the day. Call your partner at home or at work to see how his/her day is going. By doing this, you will be more in sync when you reconnect after work.

If you have a pet dog, how about walking it together every night? The quiet time and fresh air can be your chance to focus on each other. If you have missed each other during the day, be sure to catch up at night right before going to bed. It is in this relaxed atmosphere that you can unwind and tell your partner about your busy day.

When you live together, you may automatically think you know everything about your lover. In reality though, it is very easy for life to get in the way if you don’t take the time to connect with each other.



2. Flirt

Flirting isn’t just for teenagers and couples on their first date. Part of a healthy sexual relationship involves flirting with each other everyday. And it doesn’t just have to be a form of foreplay. Even on the nights when you are just too doggone tired to be intimate in bed, flirting can be a fun way to keep the zest in your relationship.

Don’t be embarrassed about flirting in public either. Show off the strength of your relationship with a little PDA. Walk hand in hand and try to steal a quick hug or kiss whenever you can. Most importantly, don’t forget to say “I love you,” as many times as you can throughout the day.



3. Be Silly Together

Life is serious enough. Sometimes you just need to do something really silly. And if you can’t do it with your significant other, who can you be silly with? When you find the time, try reliving your childhood by visiting an amusement park. Go on all the scary rides and eat all the sweets you can until your stomach can take no more.

For a daily ritual that you and your partner can share at home, try playing a game of Twister. The contorted positions you will find yourselves in will have you laughing in no time. Or kick back and watch a funny TV show that both of you enjoy. Whatever you do, the important thing is to laugh and have fun together.

4. Declare Your Independence

Remember that healthy relationships are made up of two independent people who have their own personalities and interests. It’s not good for the relationship to be constantly joined at the hip. So also make a daily habit of getting away from each other. Peruse your own hobbies and interests.

Doing things separately gives you a chance to fill in the blanks that your partner may not be able to fill for you. For example, if one of you likes sports and the other likes the arts, use your alone time to go to the gym or enroll in a painting class. At the end of your day, you will find that you have more to talk about. It will help bring freshness to the relationship, as you both continue to grow as people.

5. Cultivate Common Interests

Along with developing your personal interests, apart from one another, it is also essential to find something you can do together. The emphasis is on finding an activity can both enjoy. Although your definition of fun may be going shopping, he may not enjoy being dragged along.

If common interests are not present, happy couples develop them. Try working out at the gym together. Or take some classes together until you find something you both like. Maybe you'll both fall in love with cooking and connect each night by preparing dinner together.



It's the little things

Although these daily habits are all very simple things, they are the things that can develop a lasting, concrete relationship. These small gestures build upon the positive energy between a couple. Then, when the relationship is under stress, you’ll have the energy you need to get through it.




Why Relax?


Quite simply, being relaxed feels good! Spend a minute or two on the following exercise. Close your eyes and think of a time when you were quite emotionally stressed and had difficulty extracting yourself from that feeling. Pick a situation when you weren't bothered by any physical ailments, you were just emotionally stressed. The memory will probably still create the same bad sensations in your body.

Now think of a time where you were very relaxed, not a care in the world. Visualize it in enough detail to bring back that stress-free feeling. You can probably feel the good sensation in your body, too. Quite a difference, isn't it?

Sometimes we think we are relaxing when in fact we are experiencing significant stress responses. Examples are going to a sporting event where you really are caught up in the outcome, or going to a movie that scares you or keeps you on the edge of your seat. We seek out these situations because they "pump us up" or give us a thrill. These may be enjoyable pastimes, but are not true relaxation.

True relaxation is the absence of stress. Deepak Chopra1 identifies three phases of stress: 1) the stressful event; 2) our inner appraisal of it; and 3) our body's reaction. The three phases may go by in an instant, so we often perceive them to be a single event. An example of this is the well-known "fight or flight response." Narrowly avoiding a car accident is a good example.

On the other hand, the actual stressful event may be a past memory or a future fear. Our inner appraisal of the event may preoccupy our minds, continuously replaying thoughts of past regrets or future fears. We have placed ourselves into a very unhealthy stress spiral. Mindful relaxation can help combat this spiral by bringing our awareness to the present moment.

The key to getting there is learning how to breathe.



A TEST OF SPIRIT

Check either “yes, often” “Sometimes,” or “Not really” for each question:



1- Are you able to take a deep breath and truly feel the breath down in the pit of your stomach?

3-Breathe out. Do you have a sensation that you are suspended without the need for another breath?

4-So you have the feeling that a part of you is watching yourself even when you are doing simple things like walking in the street or writing a report for work?

5-Do you get so involved in doing something (driving, gardening, cooking) that hours have gone by and you didn’t even notice that time passed?

6-Is there ever a “little voice
in your head or sensations in your body that tell you what to do even when you are not totally sure where it comes from?

7-Do you “sense” your loved one/an imagined loved one is beside you or in front of you even if he or she is not really there?

8-Breathe out. Can you imagine sending this breath into your loved one?

9-Do you merge with your lover-in talking or making love-so that you feel like one person?

10-Do you sense that guides, spirits, or angels are helping you ?



If you answered “Yes, often” to five or more questions, you already have the experience of a spiritually healthy love. To at least three you have the right stuff to be able to learn what a deep, spiritually healthy relationship can be. To fewer than two practice doing what the questions suggests. No matter what the score all these experiences can be developed, close your eyes and imagine...


Small steps that lead us to achievement

There are natural consequences that accompany every choice we make in life. Some opportunities inevitably pass us by, but we can take advantage of others. Many people feel powerless but this is rarely the case—some opportunities just require a little thinking outside the box. Today, reflect on the doors you are opening in your world and which ones are closing. You have the power to create the life you want if you are willing to set goals and take steps toward them. Rarely does fulfilling our hopes and dreams happen overnight, but daily you can take one tiny move towards them.